Pain! Suck it up? Seriously?
A not so funny thing happened to me on my way to taking the garbage and recycling out Sunday night at 11:10 PM. Pain happened. I missed the last step going down to the outside. Bam....PAIN, confusion and shock happened. This wasn’t a simple awkward stumble, it was a full-fledged corkscrew twist, face plant! A definite 8 out of 10, if we were scoring my fall!
We all have had to face dealing with some sort of pain in our lives, especially, as we age gracefully or not so gracefully in my case. I laid there in bed Sunday night, in real physical pain with ice packs and my ankle propped up. “God please help me deal with this pain” I thought to myself, “Calm down, relax, it will be okay”. I could not get a handle on my emotions until I heard the soft gentle voice of my love, my wife Cindy. She said, “Calm down, relax, it will be okay”. After a few moments I did just that and started to think to myself about my thoughts in the minutes that followed my incredibly stupid and clumsy mistake. I realized I had gone through three different stages of dealing with pain: 1) Denial 2) Ignore the pain and try to bury it 3) Admit to being in pain and then deal with the pain.
Guys, where I am heading with this blog post is simple and direct. As mature older men, we tend to do these same three things with our health and our emotions. Don’t try and deny it, we do it all the time. We are all broken and have issues in our lives. I do not have any self-help easy answers for you either! I am here to share with you that it’s okay to feel the pain and move through a process to get to a point of dealing with the pain. Admit you are in pain and then deal with the pain you have. When I was face down on that sidewalk what was going through my mind? First, PAIN, fear and embarrassment! Seriously? I wondered if someone walking their dog would think “is this old dude having a heart attack or what?” “Would a passing car stop and ask me if I needed help?” “Will this ruin our upcoming vacation? ” I am so embarrassed! I thought to myself, “If I can only get back into my house, I’ll be fine“. I then crawled up my stairs on my hands and knees back into my house. I am an old pro at Phase 1, my denial was well under way. As soon as I returned safely back into the security and comfort of my home, did I feel better? Hell, no!!! I was still in pain. I had launched myself confidently into phase 2 by then, I would just bury the pain. As I stood up, I realized this pain could not be buried! So, I went immediately into phase 3 admit to the pain and ask for help! I called out in a very tentative boyish voice, “Cindy, could you please come down here”? Cindy answered my cry for assistance right away, “will I need my glasses?” she called back! In a shaky voice, I responded to her... “YES!”
Guys, we must remain vigilant to the brothers in our sphere of influence who are in pain, both physically and emotionally! If you’re in some sort of pain, dealing with just life like health issues, divorce, loss of a loved one, addiction, loneliness, marital troubles, facing retirement, or dealing with adult children and family issues. We all need help getting through the bull shit in our head and seek relief. Mighty Men is not in any way competent or qualified to advise you on a psychological level. If you need professional help please seek it out, you’ll never regret it. However, we can and will listen without judgement and stand by you, as you process the pain. Be encouraged Mighty Men. Stay safe and oh yeah , please keep your eye on that last step! God is with you and will never leave your side. Trust that and keep seeking the Lord. I love the scripture passage in Joshua. Write it down and carry it with you for the next few days or weeks to remind you when fear starts creeping back into your mind.
Joshua 1:9 “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go”
~ HAMMER
*Note: Interested in contributing to our Mighty Blog? Please send your idea of written essay in a word document, including a title, to dehammerstrom@gmail.com.